Where were you when I was alone and in despair? Nowhere to be found. Who was there and came to my rescue? Jesus.
A couple of years ago, I went through a rough time. I wasn’t suicidal but I was in deep anguish. However, I can understand wanting to escape from this life. Unfortunately, there have been many recent reports about suicides. I believe in the value of living.
It’s too easy to think we can escape with suicide. It seems like an easy out but it isn’t. If you end your life, there’s no coming back. What you do in a moment of sadness, rage, or grief, determines what happens to you for the rest of your life. If you do an irreversible act in the moment, you might not be alive to regret it.
I can understand the idea that suicide can seem to end a person’s suffering. It’s easy to find comfort in even the thought that you can stop the pain right now by your own hands. But what about when that moment passes, as they all do. One minute in the day changes to the next, around the clock, throughout the day, and year after year. Time changes. We change. Our thoughts change. Our circumstances change. The people in our lives change. The people who leave our lives change. The jobs we have change. The money we have or don’t have changes. Nothing isn’t cemented in stone except when we die.
It’s easy to get discouraged and give up. It’s also easy for people to give up on us and leave us feeling as if we aren’t worth it. It can feel as though if we died no one would even care. That the day would continue as it had before but without us in it. Life goes on whether or not we are here. If you choose suicide, your life does not continue without you; it ends. You end.
I can understand the troubles mounting for people. Life gets harder every day. There is also a wave of chaos in the air. Some things we can’t control but some we can.
Our current culture and media are placing a lot of emphasis on people needing to have led flawless lives. It’s too much pressure. The problem is people are imperfect and there’s no fixing that. Yes, we need to try to be better. We need to do better every day. But we can’t permanently condemn ourselves for our past nor let others punish us either. We are always learning; that’s how we progress. No one should be afraid to change for the better, nor to let go of old ideas that no longer serve anyone. But we also need to embrace redemption. Forgive people for your own sake. Forgive yourself.
If people rely on others being perfect, past or present, they will be sadly disappointed. We need to try our best and correct where needed; however, we will never be without our faults.
Does anyone have a relative who did things they didn’t agree with? And yet you are still related. Everyone in our society is related in some sense. Or have you ever been judged by people for things that weren’t true? Yet, some people chose to hold onto those lies because it served their purpose. They even blasted them around to reinforce it, to make it safety in numbers. And still, they are false lies. Spreading them around in volume doesn’t make them true, but it can sure try to destroy a person.
Jesus saved me from the sometimes cruel thinking of this world.
When people fail you, when you fail you, where will you turn?
In despair I don’t want hurting myself to be an option. I never want to hurt myself or think that’s ever okay. I know I have to answer to God. I don’t make the rules. He does. I have to respect the life he created in me. He gave me life and I can’t just end it. I have been tested with trials. I know others have suffered more than I have and I can’t compare my struggles with theirs. I can’t speak for them nor expect them to do as I say. I only want to offer hope to those who struggle while I have the strength to do so.
Life is hard and sometimes it really hurts to be alive. My life hasn’t always been cheerful. I’m a survivor. I have lived through some hard times but they didn’t completely knock me out, although it felt like they could at the time.
It’s not wise for the current culture to resort to tearing down this entire world, its contents, and all of its people for the sake of progress. I say okay if that’s what God wants, but I sure wouldn’t leave it in the hands of us flawed human beings to accomplish.
Whether it be your life, or this world, stop trying to end it.
Live and find peace.
If you are struggling at all with thoughts of hurting yourself, don’t ever be afraid to reach out. If one place doesn’t help you, try another. Keep trying and never give up.
Reach out to anyone you feel safe talking to including friends or family. Therapists can also help you work through any troubling worries. They have helped me. You are never alone even though it might sometimes seem that way.
Turning to my Catholic faith gave me solace. Sometimes no one else is around, but Jesus always is. Your local church can guide you.
Local San Francisco crisis counseling is available all day, every day: (415) 781–0500
Nationally, please call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800–273–8255, or text TALK to 741741.
Wherever you live, reach out for help!